The Selfish Audio Guide: Why Your Coworkers Sound Like Garbage (And How to Fix It)

We spend a laughable amount of time and money optimizing our “Audio Input Chain.” We buy expensive shotgun mics, obsess over polar patterns, and hoard CPU-hungry spectral repair plugins just so we can sound like NPR hosts during the morning stand-up.

But here is the ugly truth: It’s a one-way street.

While you’re sounding like a deity, you are likely listening to a project manager shouting into a laptop hinge from a kitchen with tile floors, followed immediately by a junior dev whispering so quietly you have to press the headset into your ear canal just to hear the status update.

This isn’t just annoying; it’s physically exhausting. Your brain has to work overtime to decode speech from noise, leading to “Zoom fatigue” by 11:00 AM.

It’s time to stop being polite. It’s time to start processing the audio coming into your ears with the same ruthlessness we apply to the audio going out.

The Strategy: “The Hijack”

To fix your coworkers, you have to intercept their audio before it hits your headphones. We used to have to build complex “virtual wiring” rigs to do this, but software has finally caught up to our laziness.

Here are the two ways to do it:

Option A: The “Lazy Expert” Method (System-Wide Host)

This is the preferred method because it requires zero digital plumbing. You simply insert the effects right onto your headphone output.

• Mac Users: Stop reading and buy SoundSource by Rogue Amoeba . It lets you load AudioUnit plugins directly onto specific apps (like Zoom) or your main output. It’s the “it just works” solution.
• Windows Users: Grab Equalizer APO and the Peace Equalizer GUI. It’s not quite as pretty as SoundSource, but it allows you to load VST plugins system-wide. You can set it up once, and every sound coming out of your PC gets scrubbed.

Option B: The “Hardcore” Method (Loopback & DAW)

If you want granular control, or if you just enjoy suffering, you can do it the manual way. You need to pipe the audio from your meeting app into a DAW (Digital Audio Workstation) to process it.

• The Router: You need a virtual patch cable. On Mac, Loopback is the gold standard. For a free alternative, grab BlackHole (Mac) or Virtual Audio Cable (Windows).
• The Logic: Set your meeting app’s “Speaker” output to the virtual cable. Set your DAW’s “Input” to that same cable. Process the audio, then monitor it via your actual headphones.

Warning: Be very careful with your routing matrix here. If you accidentally route your processing channel back into the microphone input of Zoom, you will create a feedback loop that sounds like a Screaming Banshee. You will be the most hated person on the internet for exactly three seconds before everyone mutes you.

The “Save My Ears” Chain

Once you’ve successfully hijacked the audio, you need to scrub it. I don’t use “musical” processing here; I use “utilitarian” processing. I don’t care about preserving the timbre of Dave’s voice; I care about understanding Dave without getting a headache.

Here is the 3-step chain I use on every single call:

1. The Mud Shovel (High-Pass Filter)

Most laptop microphones pick up a surprising amount of low-frequency rumble—AC units, trucks driving by, or just desk thumps. This mud eats up your “headroom” and muddies clarity.

• The Fix: Use any EQ to aggressively cut everything below 100Hz–120Hz.
• The Tool: I use FabFilter Pro-Q4 because I’m fancy (and financially irresponsible), but the stock EQ in GarageBand or Equalizer APO works just fine.

2. The Great Equalizer (Compression—ironically, not an equalizer)

This is the most critical step. Remote meetings are plagued by dynamic range issues—one person shouts, the next person whispers.

• The Fix: Heavy compression. You want to flatten the dynamic range so the loud parts get quieter and the quiet parts get louder.
• The Tool: Klevgrand Korvpressor . It’s incredibly intuitive for this because it visualizes the audio as a rubber object you are squishing, and is simple to set up quickly.
• The “I Hate Money” Alternative: If you really feel like selling a kidney, FabFilter Pro-C3 just dropped in January (peek behind the curtain: I write things a while before posting, to give me more time for proofreading, and Pro-C3 was released yesterday. We’re talking cutting edge, here). It’s magnificent, but using it for Zoom calls is like driving a Formula 1 car to pick up milk. FabFilter tools are fun and work really well, but might not be the most practical unless you already have them just lying around.

3. The Airbag (Limiting)

If you wear in-ear monitors (IEMs) or closed-back headphones to block out background noise, you are vulnerable. If someone drops a coffee mug on their desk or Slack creates a glitch-noise, it can genuinely damage your hearing.

• The Fix: A brickwall limiter. This sets a hard ceiling that audio cannot cross.
• The Tool: TDR Limiter 6 GE .
  • Note: Korvpressor actually has a built-in limiter, but I prefer TDR here. It’s a dedicated mastering-grade tool with better metering. I want a dedicated “safety airbag” at the end of my chain that I can trust with my eardrums, regardless of what I do with the compressor.

My Actual “Daily Driver” Chain

We’ve talked theory. Here is the exact digital duct tape I apply to my incoming audio every morning. I’m on a Mac, so this all lives inside Rogue Amoeba SoundSource. It handles the hosting seamlessly, so I don’t need a DAW open just to attend a stand-up (but I have it open anyway, to process my voice).

This is my default state. I add other tools (like gates or specialized de-noisers) if someone’s mic is particularly offensive, but this combo solves 95% of my headaches.

1. The Squeezer: Klevgrand Korvpressor I set this to squeeze pretty hard. It takes the guy yelling in the tile kitchen and the shy whisperer and smashes them into roughly the same volume casing. It’s doing the heavy lifting for intelligibility.
2. The Safety Net: TDR Limiter 6 GE This sits after the compressor to catch anything that slips through. It barely does anything 90% of the time, but when someone drops their laptop or a notification sound blasts through at full volume, it saves my hearing.
3. The Glue: Klevgrand Revolv This is the secret sauce (see the tip below). Revolv has a great library of realistic room reverbs. I load up a small, dry “studio” or “office” space and dial the mix down to about 7%. It subtly places everyone in the same acoustic environment, making the meeting feel less disjointed.

Advanced Tactics: Tips & Tricks

Once you have the basics set up, you can get a little fancy. Here are a few tweaks I’ve found that help specifically with the “Muddy Webcam” problem.

• The “Glue” Reverb: As mentioned in my personal chain above, this sounds counter-intuitive (why add reverb to a meeting?), but adding a tiny amount of “Room” or “Office” reverb (5-10% wet mix) can work wonders. It tricks your brain into thinking everyone is sitting in the same physical space. It makes the transition between the “dry void” of a headset user and the “echoey kitchen” of a laptop user much less jarring.
  • Caution: Keep it subtle. You want to “glue” the voices together, not make your daily stand-up sound like it’s happening in a cathedral.
• The “Intelligibility” Boost: If you’re struggling to understand mumbled speech, try a gentle EQ boost around 3kHz–5kHz. This is where the consonants live.
  • Caution: Use this sparingly. Boosting this range makes speech clearer, but it also makes it sharper. If you leave it on for a 2-hour meeting, it can become grating and actually increase fatigue. Treat it like hot sauce—a little goes a long way.
• The Silence Gate: If your coworker is calling from a coffee shop and you hear the espresso machine hissing constantly between their sentences, use a Noise Gate. This plugin mutes the audio completely when they aren’t talking.
  • Tip: Set the release time to be slow (around 300-500ms). If it’s too fast, their voice will sound “choppy” and unnatural.
• The Nuclear Option: High Fidelity Mode: Both Zoom and Teams have a “High Fidelity” or “Music” mode. Turning this on (especially in Zoom) disables their aggressive built-in echo cancellation and noise suppression.
  • Why do it: Ironically, turning off their processing sometimes makes incoming audio sound clearer and less “underwater.”
  • The Catch: It eats bandwidth for breakfast. Also, Teams is notoriously bad at handling this; it often thinks you are “talking” even when you’re silent because it’s picking up room noise, meaning your face will be permanently highlighted as the active speaker. Use with caution.
• Mono-Maker: Occasionally, someone joins with a fancy interface but has their mic plugged into Input 1, meaning you only hear them in your left ear. Or, they have “Music Mode” on and their stereo mic is phasing weirdly. Forcing the incoming audio to Mono centers them in your head and saves you from “one-ear fatigue.”

Is This Worth The Hassle?

If you use SoundSource or Equalizer APO, setup takes about 45 seconds. If you use the manual DAW method, it takes 30 minutes of frustration. But once it is set?

Bottom Line

You can’t control the acoustic environment of the digital nomads, coffee shop warriors, and kitchen-table workers you collaborate with. But you can control how they sound inside your head.

Treating inbound audio isn’t about being an audiophile; it’s about self-defense.

Links & Resources

• Rogue Amoeba SoundSource (The easiest Mac solution)
• Equalizer APO (The Windows hero)
• Klevgrand Korvpressor (The loudener)
• TDR Limiter 6 GE (Your safety airbag)
• Klevgrand Revolv (The glue reverb)
• BlackHole (Free virtual audio driver)